This may offend you….. if you’re Caucasian.

I am a Native American Woman. My tribe is Nez Perce (Nimi’ipuu~ “We the People”). 

I am a Sunni Muslim. Converted on my own, in 2013. 

I am a Pflag mother, a left-winging Liberal

And I am really fucking passionate about the above listed. 

I have a raging problem with “White America,” I am not a terrorist. 

My paternal grandparents were from the Netherlands. 

My Maternal grandfather was Finnish, Maternal grandmother was Native. My grandfather converted to Native-Americanism. 😉 this is only slightly a joke. Though he spoke Finnish, he took on our native culture as his own. 

My skin is light, but the pride for my native culture is thick. 

I was not raised by my biological paternal family, I know nothing about being Dutch. 

I was raised with moccasins, goulash, fry bread, stories of my ancestors, etc. 

However, I was also raised in a family who used racially charged language that offended me for as long as I could remember. 

When I was 9 months old, my mom married the man I refer to as Dad. I love my dad so much, that will never change. We do not share DNA, political stances, or even the same values, but we do share love. It was nothing to sit a Christmas and hear the ever forbidden “N-word.” Or “R-word.” I knew it wasn’t right, and it hurt me to my bones when I heard it. My voice was too tiny to stand up to the white man, and say, enough is enough, stop saying those words!

But I can say them now, and I do, you better Fuckin believe it.  I AM LOUD.

The opposite on my Maternal side. Grandma was always talking BAD about “The white man.” The white man basically fucked everything up for Native Americans. Unapologetically raped and pillaged, and now just wants us to pretty much get over it & stay on the Rez. I did not grow up on my reservation that my family is from. I grew up in Smallsville, where there were only about 3-5 Native families. We lived like white kids, with some Native culture splashed in. When I was a teenager, I tried to absorb myself into the the Latino culture, as I just could not relate to white people. I still to this day get charged over the natural entitlement a lot of white people feel, ESPECIALLY on the heels of this fucking presidential election. I AM TERRIFIED.

I didn’t want my kids to be raised in Smallsville, because I didn’t want them to be subjected to middle class, white, Republican, conservative, Christians. Fast forward 10 years after I moved them away, we have returned. And imagine that my return to the homeland, did not spark a zombie apacolypse. I am dissapointed. 

Today I was in a room, filled with middle class, white, Christian, republicans. I had to pray their prayers, and stand for the pledge of allegiance. I ALMOST FUCKING DIED! This was the most amount of anxiety I had felt in months. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I wanted to run away with my middle fingers in the air. It was aweful…… TBC

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